Blessed

Today my dad took me to the temple to be blessed. While I was there, the monk offered me some spiritual guidance and advice on life. One of the things he told me was that all great marriages include conflict. This just means the couple is trying to get it right. He told me I had to face my fears and insecurities if I wanted to grow as a person. But most importantly change the way I respond to people. I am going to try my best to make amends and work on my relationships with not only my husband but my mother and the other important people in my life.

I'd like to be able to say that after this week, my irrational behavior is no more. Kind of, sort of, is closer to the truth. I'm still learning to manage my anger, cope with stress and pull myself out of depression. After looking deeply into my soul and talking to good friends and the most supportive family a girl could ever have, I've come to recognize certain things about myself. Not to get all Dr. Phil about it, but I've had to examine my history with an emotionally damaged and strong-willed mother and the biological father who abandon me. I have to face up to all the ways, both good and bad, that those relationships have affected how I approach my marriage. But that's the strange beauty of it. Marriage is full of hard times and hard lessons that no one can ever prepare you for. But in the end, those are the things that give richness to your life together -- and make your love even deeper and stronger than when it began.